Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
