Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
