Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
