Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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