feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize