Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
