You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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