I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
