Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize