Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
