T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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