My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
