you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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