Pappa wants mamma naked
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
