chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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