Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize