this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
