he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
