Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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