I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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