I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize