I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
