I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
