Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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