I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
