we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
