i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
