those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So squirting runs in the family.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
