Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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