Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
