don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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