i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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