The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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