Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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