She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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