am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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