there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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