did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Your penis caused this!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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