I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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