the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
