I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
