Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
