Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
last night I used snow as a chaser
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
