I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
