saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
