this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
