She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
