2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
