Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize