she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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