I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
