Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
