Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize