Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
