he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize