If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
