your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
