I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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