I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
