I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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