the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize